Dial M For Murder… Of The Marriage

By smitha on Thursday, April 15, 2010 - 19:00

Will prenuptials prove to be the safety net that Indian women lack in the current system? Smitha Rao looks at this possibility in view of Sania Mirza receiving a Mehr of 61 lakhs from her groom. 

Maybe we should have a law on this.

The city where I’m writing this from, Bangalore has one of the highest divorce rates in the country. Highly educated women and men from affluent, respectable families battling it out in the courts, abusing the other, for many messy years… all for a few (ok, a lot) dollars more. Each possibly justified in their own arguments.

She: My family spent Rs x lakh on a miserable marriage, therefore I should
be paid back.

He: You have a job, an income, why should I pay?

And so the slugfest continues, alimony, money is of indisputable importance.

So the wise ones in the western hemisphere had a brilliant idea – a prenuptial agreement where both the parties involved have made it amply, legally clear, and more importantly before entering into wedlock, who stands to gain, lose, pay, get paid, in the eventuality of a divorce.

One thought this had not yet taken off in India. Apparently it has. 

For all the brouhaha they had to go through before getting married couple of days ago, Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik have set a fine example! Malik paid Rs 61 lakh, in cash, as mehr (the gift given by the bridegroom to the bride at the time of marriage) to Mirza. And here the girl doesn’t even need this kind of money. Rs 61 lakh, when wealthier couples fight it out for years to extract as much as Rs 1 lakh or two at best.

And if you’re Tiger Woods you enter into a new contract that would give wife Elin Nordegren $55 million in addition to the undisclosed amount already entered into before marriage. Some time ago, former Beatles star Paul McMartney was repenting aloud that he should have entered into a prenup with now ex-wife Heather Mills, to whom he had to pay a few million dollars! And I won’t even get into the uncountable money and castle and land that Madonna (she paid it all, not he!) paid ex-husband Guy Ritchie!

For starters, here’s a legal definition of a prenup as put online: “A prenuptial agreement, antenuptial agreement, or premarital agreement, commonly abbreviated to prenup or prenupt, is a contract entered into prior to marriage, civil union or any other agreement prior to the main agreement by the people intending to marry or contract with each other. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for
division of property and spousal support in the event of divorce or breakup of marriage. They may also include terms for the forfeiture of assets as a result of divorce on the grounds of adultery; further conditions of guardianship may be included as well.”

Some countries, realizing the trend in their societies brought it in clinically, formally. “In the Netherlands, the prenuptial agreement not only provides for the event of a divorce, but also to protect some property during the marriage, for instance in case of a bankruptcy.

Many countries, including Canada, France, Italy and Germany, have matrimonial regimes,
in addition to, or some cases, in lieu of prenuptial agreements.”

Here’s the thing – how about we get this into the public domain in India, make the women (yes, mostly women) aware of such a possibility? For isn’t it here that the “girl’s family” pays for all the wedding expenses? No, I’m not being sadistic, I’d gladly pick up the tabs for the wedding of a loved one *by choice*, not as a pre-defined, societal constructed condition.

When not meditating on the void or fantasising exotic travel, Smitha Rao has spent many years in journalism at The Times of India, Bangalore Mirror, News9 as also extensive stints at California and Italy. Her claim to fame include areas spanning infrastructure, culture, literature, special reports, et al.